Meet the Family

"Every father should remember that
one day his son will follow his example
instead of his advice"
             Alex Haley

Did you ever wonder why you were
born into the family that you were?

Some people grow up thinking that
they have the most wonderful family,
but others are convinced that they
must have been switched at birth in
the hospital!

Many spiritual teachers will say that we
pick our birth family before we are
born. They say our family provides the
environment for our soul to learn what
we need to learn.

I don't know if I believe that, but it's an
interesting idea to consider, isn't it?

One thing is clear; our family is
responsible for many of the most
important beliefs and behaviors that
we learn, and which run our lives
automatically if we let them.

I think it's fair to say that a big part of
life is learning what to keep and what to
discard from our family experiences.

As our quote says, we learn from our
family's behavior, not from the things
that our parents tried to consciously
teach us.

We sometimes do just what our family
always did, and sometimes just the
opposite! When people do the opposite
it's usually because they want to be
free and independent.

But if you do just the opposite you're
still letting your family control your
choices, aren't you?

So thank your family for what they've
contributed to your life. They're just
people trying to make sense of things
too.

Love them and bless them, and then
make your own choices.

You'll be really glad you did.

Many blessings

L E T T I N G G O

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world. 

T.. D. Jakes said:

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge..... 

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.. . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you u have a bad attitude... . . ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship . . ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves. . . ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's!' God loves you and watches over you everyday. 

Claim Your Happiness Today!

"The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today."
-Charles W. Eliot

Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow I will be happy. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow! Once the bills are paid off and the job isn’t so stressful…then I’ll be happy. Everywhere you look there seems to be another stressful situation in your life. Here’s the problem: tomorrow your bills may be paid off and your job may be less stressful, but there WILL be another hurdle blocking your path to happiness. There always is.

What are you waiting for? Life is always going to be filled with little disappointments and frustrations. There’s no question about it. But, you need to know that until you decide to be happy today, you have no chance for happiness tomorrow.

This is your life. Look all around you and let that soak in. Your finances, your job, your relationships…all of it is your life right now. And so you have a choice to make. You can either wish and yearn for happiness someday, or seize it today.

Stop focusing on everything in your life that makes you sad and depressed. Do not give these parts so much attention! They certainly do not deserve your time and energy. When you focus on the stack of bills, the piles of laundry, the job that you didn't receive, you will continue to feel a sense of hopeless despair.

Instead focus on all the wonder and beauty that surround you. It is everywhere. You may have to look hard…but, you will find it. Give your single-minded attention to all the things that make you smile. Focus on the wonderful night-out with your friend; appreciate when you are able to curl up with a good book, a good movie and cup of hot chocolate. These are the events that deserve your attention.

The only way to guarantee happiness tomorrow is to consciously choose happiness today. That's right, it really is up to you. The external events in your life will always be there pushing against your hopes for peace and happiness. Don't allow them to push so forcefully into your life! You are in charge, not the outside world.

Stop thinking about tomorrow. Stop hoping that tomorrow will be better. Instead, be content with your life today, no matter what that life may look like.

Then, something miraculous will happen...you will find your happiness patiently waiting for you tomorrow!

What to Do When the Holidays Trigger Your Feelings of Loss

If you've experienced a difficult loss this year or in recent years--a death in the family, an illness, a divorce, a job loss, a natural disaster or a combination of losses--you may find the holidays retrigger your feelings of loss.

In fact, you may be surprised by the depth of your emotions, the clarity of your memories, the details you recall, and how quickly you are taken back to your original loss. The flashes may happen so rapidly that they catch you off guard.

Although you may want these memories to go away, there's really no way to stop them. They are coming to you as a natural part of your healing/grieving process. As each memory comes to mind, they are giving you an important opportunity to feel the emotions you may not have been able to process earlier in your journey. Although it can be difficult, the more you can feel your emotions, the sooner you will move through and beyond your grief.

Whenever you are experiencing your first holiday season without a loved one, your home, or your health, you are likely to face situations that bring up old memories and remind you, in no uncertain terms, that your life has changed.

Unfortunately, there's really no way to rewind your life to get it back how it was. There's no way to regain your normal life. There's also no way to ignore what you are feeling.

The only way to navigate this difficult, emotional time is to be very clear about what you need during this season.

1) How do you want to feel? Do you want to reflect? Escape? Remember? Forget?

2) What do you need this season? Do you want time alone? Do you want to spend time with friends? Do you want to get out of town?

3) How can you take care of yourself? Do you need rest? Do you need to spend time in nature? Do you need a quiet day? Do you need to spend time with others of your faith?

4) What rituals can you create to honor your loss and help you move into the future? Is there a poem that speaks to you? Is there a song that soothes you or inspires you? Is there a place you'd like to visit to remember?

As you move through the holidays, take time to check in with yourself each day. Sense what you need for yourself each day....each hour....each minute. As you reconnect with your true needs, trust what you feel. Trust yourself to know what you need in any given situation.

Even if you can't act on your needs in the moment, honor your needs enough to recognize and acknowledge how you feel. When you are faced with a similar situation or similar feelings in the future, you will have more knowledge about your own needs. With this new information about yourself, you'll be better able to create circumstances that will work for you.

For example, if you want to spend some time alone this holiday, be true to yourself and create a way to do just that. It's perfectly natural to want to hibernate during this time to feel your emotions in a safe environment. Perhaps you set aside a day for yourself when it doesn't impact time with your loved ones. Or you might feel that the usual holiday festivities are just too much for you. If there's a way, you might want to make other plans or limit the amount of time you spend at the big event.

Even though it may feel foreign, ask those around you for what you need. It's true that some may not understand your request. They may find strength and normalcy when they are surrounded by traditional activities and other people. Others will understand you and support you in what you need. Do what you can to create the circumstances that will be best for you.

For instance, if you can't figure out a way to stay away from the family gathering all together, see what you can do to limit your stay or take on a task (peeling the potatoes or washing the dishes) that helps you avoid the frenzy of activity.

If you must attend the festivities, plan some quiet time for yourself before the event or plan a special day for yourself before or after with the goal of doing what you need to take care of yourself.

Be gentle with yourself as you move through the holidays this year. Honor your needs and you will find a new source of peace within yourself.