Meet the Family

"Every father should remember that
one day his son will follow his example
instead of his advice"
             Alex Haley

Did you ever wonder why you were
born into the family that you were?

Some people grow up thinking that
they have the most wonderful family,
but others are convinced that they
must have been switched at birth in
the hospital!

Many spiritual teachers will say that we
pick our birth family before we are
born. They say our family provides the
environment for our soul to learn what
we need to learn.

I don't know if I believe that, but it's an
interesting idea to consider, isn't it?

One thing is clear; our family is
responsible for many of the most
important beliefs and behaviors that
we learn, and which run our lives
automatically if we let them.

I think it's fair to say that a big part of
life is learning what to keep and what to
discard from our family experiences.

As our quote says, we learn from our
family's behavior, not from the things
that our parents tried to consciously
teach us.

We sometimes do just what our family
always did, and sometimes just the
opposite! When people do the opposite
it's usually because they want to be
free and independent.

But if you do just the opposite you're
still letting your family control your
choices, aren't you?

So thank your family for what they've
contributed to your life. They're just
people trying to make sense of things
too.

Love them and bless them, and then
make your own choices.

You'll be really glad you did.

Many blessings

L E T T I N G G O

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world. 

T.. D. Jakes said:

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge..... 

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.. . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you u have a bad attitude... . . ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship . . ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves. . . ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's!' God loves you and watches over you everyday. 

Claim Your Happiness Today!

"The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today."
-Charles W. Eliot

Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow I will be happy. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow! Once the bills are paid off and the job isn’t so stressful…then I’ll be happy. Everywhere you look there seems to be another stressful situation in your life. Here’s the problem: tomorrow your bills may be paid off and your job may be less stressful, but there WILL be another hurdle blocking your path to happiness. There always is.

What are you waiting for? Life is always going to be filled with little disappointments and frustrations. There’s no question about it. But, you need to know that until you decide to be happy today, you have no chance for happiness tomorrow.

This is your life. Look all around you and let that soak in. Your finances, your job, your relationships…all of it is your life right now. And so you have a choice to make. You can either wish and yearn for happiness someday, or seize it today.

Stop focusing on everything in your life that makes you sad and depressed. Do not give these parts so much attention! They certainly do not deserve your time and energy. When you focus on the stack of bills, the piles of laundry, the job that you didn't receive, you will continue to feel a sense of hopeless despair.

Instead focus on all the wonder and beauty that surround you. It is everywhere. You may have to look hard…but, you will find it. Give your single-minded attention to all the things that make you smile. Focus on the wonderful night-out with your friend; appreciate when you are able to curl up with a good book, a good movie and cup of hot chocolate. These are the events that deserve your attention.

The only way to guarantee happiness tomorrow is to consciously choose happiness today. That's right, it really is up to you. The external events in your life will always be there pushing against your hopes for peace and happiness. Don't allow them to push so forcefully into your life! You are in charge, not the outside world.

Stop thinking about tomorrow. Stop hoping that tomorrow will be better. Instead, be content with your life today, no matter what that life may look like.

Then, something miraculous will happen...you will find your happiness patiently waiting for you tomorrow!

What to Do When the Holidays Trigger Your Feelings of Loss

If you've experienced a difficult loss this year or in recent years--a death in the family, an illness, a divorce, a job loss, a natural disaster or a combination of losses--you may find the holidays retrigger your feelings of loss.

In fact, you may be surprised by the depth of your emotions, the clarity of your memories, the details you recall, and how quickly you are taken back to your original loss. The flashes may happen so rapidly that they catch you off guard.

Although you may want these memories to go away, there's really no way to stop them. They are coming to you as a natural part of your healing/grieving process. As each memory comes to mind, they are giving you an important opportunity to feel the emotions you may not have been able to process earlier in your journey. Although it can be difficult, the more you can feel your emotions, the sooner you will move through and beyond your grief.

Whenever you are experiencing your first holiday season without a loved one, your home, or your health, you are likely to face situations that bring up old memories and remind you, in no uncertain terms, that your life has changed.

Unfortunately, there's really no way to rewind your life to get it back how it was. There's no way to regain your normal life. There's also no way to ignore what you are feeling.

The only way to navigate this difficult, emotional time is to be very clear about what you need during this season.

1) How do you want to feel? Do you want to reflect? Escape? Remember? Forget?

2) What do you need this season? Do you want time alone? Do you want to spend time with friends? Do you want to get out of town?

3) How can you take care of yourself? Do you need rest? Do you need to spend time in nature? Do you need a quiet day? Do you need to spend time with others of your faith?

4) What rituals can you create to honor your loss and help you move into the future? Is there a poem that speaks to you? Is there a song that soothes you or inspires you? Is there a place you'd like to visit to remember?

As you move through the holidays, take time to check in with yourself each day. Sense what you need for yourself each day....each hour....each minute. As you reconnect with your true needs, trust what you feel. Trust yourself to know what you need in any given situation.

Even if you can't act on your needs in the moment, honor your needs enough to recognize and acknowledge how you feel. When you are faced with a similar situation or similar feelings in the future, you will have more knowledge about your own needs. With this new information about yourself, you'll be better able to create circumstances that will work for you.

For example, if you want to spend some time alone this holiday, be true to yourself and create a way to do just that. It's perfectly natural to want to hibernate during this time to feel your emotions in a safe environment. Perhaps you set aside a day for yourself when it doesn't impact time with your loved ones. Or you might feel that the usual holiday festivities are just too much for you. If there's a way, you might want to make other plans or limit the amount of time you spend at the big event.

Even though it may feel foreign, ask those around you for what you need. It's true that some may not understand your request. They may find strength and normalcy when they are surrounded by traditional activities and other people. Others will understand you and support you in what you need. Do what you can to create the circumstances that will be best for you.

For instance, if you can't figure out a way to stay away from the family gathering all together, see what you can do to limit your stay or take on a task (peeling the potatoes or washing the dishes) that helps you avoid the frenzy of activity.

If you must attend the festivities, plan some quiet time for yourself before the event or plan a special day for yourself before or after with the goal of doing what you need to take care of yourself.

Be gentle with yourself as you move through the holidays this year. Honor your needs and you will find a new source of peace within yourself.

FAILURE IS NOT FINAL

When life hands you a defeat, MOVE ON. Major setbacks often produce MAJOR COMEBACKS. When grand opportunities are lost, MOVE ON. Beyond disappointment, there’s life. Beyond pain, there are lessons. LOOK! LEARN! LIVE! Live for a new day. Live for new opportunities. Refuse to be embalmed in defeat. MOVE ON. GOD HEALS. God restores. DEFEAT IS NOT FINAL. There are brighter days ahead. LET’S MOVE ON!

Little Things Matter

Zig Ziglar
 The history of our country involves every generation looking for the "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." Many of them looked for gold by digging in the hillsides and streams of America.

In 1848, John Marshall was panning for gold in the streams of California. One bright, sunlit day, while panning in Sutter's Creek, his eye caught a glitter -- and the gold rush of 1849 was on. Many people came to California, discovered gold and made their fortune, while others struck it rich by providing mining equipment, food, shelter, clothing, and so on, for the miners at exorbitant prices, so they found their gold in the pockets of those who had dug it up. The gold rush had a significant impact on the population of California and hastened the settling of our country.

In the late 1880s, in an isolated, abandoned mineshaft about an hour's drive from where the gold had been discovered, the body of a derelict miner was found. It was John Marshall, the man who had discovered the gold but neglected to file his own claim. Message: Life has much to offer, but we must file our claim.

Many of us know someone who neglected some little thing and ended up with the short end of the stick. Little things make a huge difference in life. Sometimes, a life is saved because the rescuer arrived in the nick of time. In a flash flood in California, two young men were pulled from a raging river by rescuers who, with the aid of a helicopter, lifted them out of the water. One of the rescuers said, "Had we been 30 seconds later, they would have lost their lives." In many instances, had the police arrived at a scene two minutes later, rape and possibly murder would have occurred. In other cases, we've seen where rescuers arrived a moment or two too late and lives were lost.

However, the little things I'm talking about are not quite that traumatic, and yet, in many ways, have tremendous importance. The definition of "little" in my 1828 Noah Webster Dictionary simply says that it is "small in size or extent, not great or large. Short in duration, as a little time, a little sleep. Slight; inconsiderable; not much." Now, tie the word "little" to "kindness," and we see its significance. In the Bible, Ephesians 4:32, we read, "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other." "Kind" or "kindness" means "favorable; attractive; disposed to do good to others, and to make them happy by granting their requests, supplying their wants, or assisting them in distress." Take the definition of "little" and apply the word "kind" or "kindness" to it, and we can see that a little kindness goes a long way toward encouraging people, building winning relationships, and giving them hope and inspiration in their daily lives.

Yes, little things can make a huge difference. If you're only three minutes late for a flight, the three minutes is not much; but if the plane has left the ground, it could have serious repercussions on your travel schedule.

Wilhelm Reiss, a German inventor, perfected a device for transmitting sound over wires. Had he moved two electrodes just one one-thousandth of an inch, they would have touched each other, and he would have been the inventor of the telephone. That little bit of distance made all of the difference!

Most of us need a little hope and encouragement every day, and I believe a "National Kindness Day" to encourage everyone to speak with kindness to those we meet would help. Doing that for just one day could jump-start us to make it a part of our lives, which could encourage others to do the same thing. Give it a try. You'll be delighted with the results!

Health and Beauty Tip -- Help for Tired Feet

If your feet are hurting after a long day, try this: soak your feet in warm water mixed with bath salts for about ten minutes. Don't just dry your feet off afterwards, though -- wash them with soap and water, then apply some moisturizer.

Verbal Abuse in Marriage

Verbal Abuse in Marriage
No one expects their marriage to turn ugly, but the sad reality is that it does, for many it even becomes fatal. Spousal abuse or domestic abuse can perpetuate beyond sexual or physical abuse to a much more subtle form; verbal abuse. Those who have experienced it, say it is the worse form of abuse for it leaves behind no physical scar, yet manages to scar an individual's mind and soul. Unlike other forms of abuse, verbal abuse in marriage comes without a loud sound.


Verbal Abuse in Marriage
Verbal abuse in marriage is not about a harsh word spoken in a fit of anger, or even an insult thrown offhandedly, it is the systematic use of language in an abusive manner specifically used to make the spouse feel inferior, insecure and run down. Verbal abuse also includes the written form. As there is no universally accepted definition of verbal abuse, any form of communication done with the intent to cause harm to the person being spoken to which may consist of language which is demeaning, name calling, shouting, derogatory remarks, insulting, intimidating and threatening.


Verbal abuse in marriage is one of the most difficult forms of abuse when it comes to assessing emotional damage being inflicted on the abused. As it is subtle, even if shouting is included, it takes a long time for the abused to realize that they are being abused. The period between getting verbally abused until its realization is full of trauma, and uncertainty as to why one is being abused. As it not always comes with physical violence, the abused is mostly in self denial. However, with time the perpetrator is emboldened by the victim's non-retaliatory behavior, thereby increasing the intensity of verbal abuse, and finally escalating to physical abuse.

For years now, verbal abuse in marriage was thought to be a gender issue, with the perpetrators being men and the victims; women. Although the ratio of women being battered verbally and otherwise will always be higher, men too are being victimized. Domestic violence against women was highlighted in 1970 when woman's rights and feminism was brought to  fore, and since the late 1970's, domestic violence against men has also gained significant attention. Hence, verbal abuse in marriage has now been brought under the blanket of 'domestic violence', where abuse can occur among spouses, against children or intimate partners.

Why do people verbally abuse, how does one forget marriage vows of maintaining the spouse's dignity and respect, how does one stop loving the other and think it is okay to cause emotional and mental trauma? I am sure these are questions that most of us ask, especially, if we know a victim or have been victimized ourselves. Answers are not easy to come by, as there are a whole lot of sociological and ideological factors involved. As verbal abuse, or any other form of domestic violence is not gender, race, culture, age or sex specific, it can happen to anyone, at any strata level. As dominance is part of many cultures, verbal abuse in marriage is more or less accepted. And being insidious in nature, goes unrecognized, more by the abused than the abuser.

Psychologists believe that those who abuse and accept abuse have learned this pattern at home. At least 50% of cases documented have an early history that consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others being abused. As a result it becomes the 'normal way to live'. Another reason that could also attribute towards the practice of verbal abuse is the 'need for control, or to control'. As verbal abuse is intended to cause intimidation, insecurity, emotional trauma and dependence, the perpetrator derives a sadistic pleasure in knowing that they yield power.

Mental or physical disorders are also reasons for verbal abuse to occur. Individuals suffering from anger management issues, narcissistic personality disorder, sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies, substance abuse, or intermittent explosive behavioral disorders feel the need to leash out their uncontrollable temper and frustration on their spouse, that sometimes goes beyond verbal abuse. In all instances of verbal abuse in marriage the verbal abusers believe that they are right to verbally put the spouse in place, as the spouse asked for it.


Signs of Verbal Abuse in Marriage As said earlier, verbal abuse does not always come with visible signs, it becomes difficult to demarcate a clear line between what constitutes verbal abuse and what does not. Verbal abuse is the use of language intended to hurt and demean the listener, it is not accidental at all. The first sign is usually name calling, combined with screaming, cursing, shouting and going verbally ballistic for very little cause. However, some verbal abusers do it cleverly, they disguise insults, ridicule, disrespect and criticise by manipulating their words, especially when in public but always get the message across to their spouse.


Verbal abuse can also at times transcend from words to actions, actions that convey that one is unloved, unwanted, and can be conveniently ignored. A verbal abuser always preys upon a dependent victim's mind by using language that conveys threats of harm, or even leaving the family in a destitute condition. Verbal abusers always lay the blame for all wrong decisions made by using false accusations intended to create a doubt in the victim's decision making abilities. Verbal abuse also constitutes language said to make one feel good, but with the intent of manipulating people to submit to or accept undesirable behavior. A constant dismissal of your opinions and feelings, and use of threatening words are also signs of verbal abuse in marriage.


How to Deal with Verbal Abuse in Marriage
Recognizing abuse and accepting that one is being abused is the first step to getting help for yourself. How to stop verbal abuse in marriage is imperative, because in most cases where they occur, it usually starts with a few odd sentences a day, and in a short time escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence which can prove fatal. Although easier said than done, the abused needs to become proactive. Understand that there are individuals in your circle of family and friends who can lend a hand, or direct you to a support group. Counseling and therapy is another way to deal with an abusive marriage. But dealing with an abuser requires help. Help that will ensure that no bodily harm comes to you or your children (if any), when it is time to take the abuser head on. Hence, it is important to take help of a support group, and have backups in place, in case of an undesired eventuality.


(c)buzzle.com

Joke

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

How many ‘NOs’ can you really handle?

You had your plans well laid out. You have decided to take the first step. And right on the first or second step, or even on the umpteenth one, someone somewhere decided your answer is ‘No’. No, we don’t need your services. No, we don’t need your product. No, we cannot sponsor your program. No, we don’t have vacancies. No, you’re not pregnant. No, I can’t marry you. No, we cannot help you! Quo Vadis? Where do you go from there? Go right back and try again!

Be unstoppable! I assure you it’s not the easiest thing to be, but the best thing to be when rejection stares you in the face.

Try not to take it personal. It’s not because you are not good enough. Fine there may be one or two things you need to change, get to work and change them. Keep your eyes on your destination.

Don’t stop trying. A woman was interviewed on TV one or two weeks ago. She started a new business producing ‘grinded rice’. I don’t remember what name she called it. But I remember that I was told that when she tried to introduce it to supermarkets they just kept turning her back. She went to the same supermarket about ten (10) times, such that the Manager had to ask her if there was something wrong with her head. Eventually he reluctantly agreed to display just two (2) items of her products. Before the week ran out he was looking for her for more products. What if she had given up on the first or second try?

Stories abound. Abraham Lincon, okay that was a long time ago right? What of Barack Obama?

How many ‘NOs’ can you really handle?

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again…then your success will appear!

Of course I agree that there is a time to hold on and a time to let go. But many times we do let go when we ought to just hold on. May God give us the wisdom to know the difference, so we don’t let go just at the breaking of day.

Ways To Be Happy

1. Never put yourself last.
2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful not to kick someone else in the teeth.
3. Count your blessings every day.
4. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
5. Strive for progress, not perfection.
6. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
7. At least once a day sit and do nothing.
8. Don't close your heart so tightly against life's pain that you shut out life's blessings.
9. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.
10. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.
11. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.
12. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.
13. Cry when you feel like it.
14. Rejoice in other people's triumphs.
15. Don't wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.
16. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.
17. Keep good company.
18. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.
19. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and give yourself a spark to move ahead.
20. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.
21. Remember that one is a whole number.
22. Do a kind deed for someone else.
23. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from people and events in your daily life.
24. Be patient.
25. Eat something green.
26. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.
27. Walk hand and hand with truth.
28. Make laughter an d joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.
29. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.
30. Be zealous, not jealous.
31. Forgive anyone you've been holding a grudge against.
32. Slow down and enjoy the present.
33. Walk in others' shoes before judging them.
34. Send yourself a kind message.
35. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection of what you think of yourself.
36. Go on a picnic.
37. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.
38. Don't let other people's opinions shape who you are.
39. Say a prayer.
40. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.
41. Know when to say no.
42. Look at the positive side of negative situation.
43. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.
44. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it makes them the master and you the slave.
45. Avoid fads and bandwagons.
46. Accept the things you cannot change.
47. Look inside instead of outside yourself for answers to life's problems.
48. Remember that all feelings are okay.
49. Shield yourself from bad influences.
50. Stand up for what you believe in.
51. Respect the wishes of others when they say no.
52. Seize every moment and live it fully.
53. Give away or sell anything you haven't used in the past five years.
54. Never downgrade yourself.
55. Take responsibility for what you think, feel, and do.
56. Pamper yourself.
57. Never say or do anything abusive to a child.
58. Let yourself be God powered instead of flying solo.
59. Volunteer to help someone in need.
60. Refrain from overindulging in food, drink, and work
61. Finish unfinished business.
62. Be spontaneous.
63. Find a constructive outlet for your anger.
64. Think about abundance instead of lack, because whatever you think about expands.
65. Think of yourself as a survivor, not a victim
66. Be open to life.
67. See success as something you already have, not something you must attain.
68. Experience the splendor and awe of a sunset.
69. Learn to be in the present moment.
70. Instead of believing in miracles, depend on them.
71. Change your attitude and your whole life will change.
72. Never turn your power over to another person.
73. When your heart is at odds with your head, follow your heart.
74. Always remember that the past is gone forever and the future never comes.
75. Live your life according to what is right for you.
76. Acknowledge your imperfections.
77. Plant a tree and watch it grow.
78. See "friend" instead of "enemy" on the face of strangers.
79. Watch an army of ants build their houses and cities and carry food ten times their weight.
80. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
81. Let the playful child within you come out.
82. Make haste slowly.
83. Work through your problems step by step and one day at a time.
84. Accept compliments from others so you can see the truth about yourself.
85. Sit on the lawn without worrying about grass stains.
86. Don't condemn yourself for your imperfections.
87. Do a humility check periodically by loving the truth about yourself.
88. Tell someone you appreciate them.
89. Never live your life according to what is right for someone else.
90. Talk less and listen more.
91. Admit your wrongdoing and forgive yourself for it.
92. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.
93. Affirm all the good things about yourself.

Are you financially independent

Are you always running short of funds? Do you still have to borrow money sometimes to at least live comfortably? Do you get to pay your bills on time? If you answered mostly yes, then you are in danger of being financially unstable. You cannot afford the things you want and sometimes, even the things you need. Don’t go sulking out there. You better move your body. If such is the case better tell yourself that you cannot afford to be that way always. You have to be financially independent. What is financial independence? Financial independence is the capability to determine and support yourself through your own endeavours. There are 7 ways or habits to follow to gain financial independence. With the right attitude and the proper goal in mind, you might just find yourself beaming with pride because of achievement.

1. Hand a focused vision

Start with a vision. What is your vision for your life? Where are you definitely heading? You want financial independence. You want to be able to stand on your own and have a more stable and secured life, for yourself and for your family. Keep that vision in mind. Hold on to it as you start to realize that vision. The choice and decisions you will make in the future will have to head towards the direction of your goal. Return to that vision when things get doubtful or tough.

2. Invest your money wisely

Generate income. Your income will be the financial foundation of your vision. This will basically come from your job’s income, but don’t settle with that. Aim to increase your income. Invest your time, money and effort into a beneficial enterprise. Start a business that you feel passionately about and make sure it will work. Think carefully of every detail in your enterprise and work on it. Do not settle with good enough results. Aim for excellence, quality and integrity to succeed.

3. Save up

Although it is not considered compared to a good investment, it is still a good way to keep money for your future. Just make sure you maintain the money in your savings account. Avoid touching it unless it is really necessary. Give value also to your coins. Every single kobo matters. Even if it is considerably small amount; it will find some use for that.

4. Spend wisely

Don’t spend all your earnings. As they say, don’t earn to spend. Buy only things that you really need. Tighten those belts for now as you bank for a more secured future, choose to live simply. Forget the seed to show off on other people that you can’t afford. If you want to achieve financial independence, you must hold on to your money as much as possible. Avoid incurring debts as much as you can. Take control of  your finances as much as possible. Make ends meet in the meantime for later on in life, you will surely afford to be leisurely.

5. Keep contingency plans

You must plan ahead for events in the future. Have contingencies. Make certain that your financial assts are secured. At this phase, it is a good option to get an insurance policy. Insure your life, health and property even loved ones. Protect your interests whenever you enter into any engagement. Make sure that your endeavour is legal, that you are financially capable, and that it is feasible within your means. This way, you will have optimal performance and desirable results. You could prevent harmful losses in the long run.

6. Take care of yourself

Health is wealth. The only way for you to achieve your dreams and be able stand on your own is when you are physically and psychologically able to do so. Have regular check ups with your physician. Have a healthy diet. Exercise regularly. Health will be your asset to achieve financial independence. Only a good physical standing would allow you to enjoy the fruits of your toils today.

7. Be unstoppable

You must keep yourself focused to achieve the goal of being financially independent. Do not let yourself be distracted by whimsical desires. Do not spray. Do not procrastinate. Every kobo and every minutes counts, as what you do today will have a lot to say on what you will have in future. Take advantage of every opportunity that will come your way. Keep yourself confident. Tell yourself, you will not be a loser in this game. You have to make it.


Culled from The Adviser

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

 

 

  Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....

 

  Now here are the rules from the male side.    

  These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!  

 

 

 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

What is Love? By Kids

Children can answer better than most adults when it comes to love. The question was 'What is love’? The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
See what you think: 
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy- age 7
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.